By JC Idol - May 5th, 2009 - jcidol@luckymail.com
Within the PUA community, there seems to be a majority of people who like to get away from the phrase "Pick Up". In turn they create acronyms like PUA or choose other terms like seduction community or venusian arts because they don't sound as "sleazy". Many within the Pick Up community believe that everything comes down to perception because perception is reality. The challenge that faces many of us today is to simply change that reality.
To a common everyday person, the phrase Pick Up Artist brings images of male gigolos, manwhores in tacky silk shirts and white pants, overly tanned with pencil thin mustaches and way too much gel in their hair. These men are seen as the predators of the nightclub scene that can be seen from miles away, hungry hyenas that travel in packs and look to find the weak members of the female herd that they can take advantage of. These men are seen as having all the "tricks" to take an unwilling woman back to his place where he has installed mood lighting and furniture that resembles a swingers pad from the 1970s and once he is there, he uses his "secret seduction techniques" to have his way with her. After it's over, he kicks her out with no intention of giving her the time and day again as she is nothing more than a notch on his bedpost. Do men like this exist? Yes. But these aren't the men who comprise the Pick Up community as a whole. These are the men who take the knowledge that has been shared and use it for strictly selfish purpose. These men do nothing to add value to others around them and ultimately always focus on what they consider number one, themselves. Marilyn Manson was quoted once saying that it's the addicts that give the users a bad name. That's what these men are to our community. They exemplify the negatives and instead of improving on them, they embrace them for the opportunity for quick success and instant gratification.
So how does this situation and perception get fixed? In many cases, members of a community would rise up and publicly vocalize the myths being presented. In our case though, it's just not that easy. While we don't want the Pick Up community looked at in a negative way, we also don't want to bring large amounts of attention to it. While none of us should ever be ashamed to be a part of this entity, we also aren't trying to take what we do and make it the standard that all men use for approaching women. We have our own secrets that we don't want shared with the world. Like a country with nuclear weapons, we don't want to make sure every other country has nukes as well. After all when that happens, the end result is just tons of bombs going off at the same time with no one winning.
So what do we do? How do we fix it without massive rallies at nightclubs around the world? The answer comes in our actions. All stereotypes come from at least a little bit of truth. The Pick Up Artists of the past may have used these techniques because they did work. Some still do. But what we can do as a community is do our best to not live up to these negative expectations. The true PUA Masters are the ones who defy that image. They are so successful in the field because nobody expects that they are Pick Up Artists. Occasionally, some women act the role of groupies for certain masters but these are often the only ones who know. These masters are the ones who know how to dress, how to interact, how to be social, and how to seduce in a way that doesn't feel creepy. Many times it's because it is genuine.
And the rest of us who haven't achieved masters status yet, we don't just sit idly by and let that negative image continue either. Part of being a Pick Up Artist isn't just being yourself, it's about being your BEST self. If you are going to be representing the community in any way, make sure that your best self is what you are giving off to everyone around you. Change that perception about you so that if anyone does identify you as a member of the community, they see that you don't fit that stereotype that had been ingrained in their head about it. Especially make sure to treat the women you use these techniques on the right way. These women are the ones who are going to be telling their friends about what you do with her and to her. If you use her as nothing more than a piece of ass and have no respect for her and she mentions the techniques you used to a girl who recognizes the community, both women will associate the PUA community with that negative image and likely tell all of their friends about it in the future. But if you treat the women you meet the right way and someone one of their friends recognizes you as a part of the community, you will have changed their perceptions on what a PUA goes for with women. They won't assume you are using women just for sex. If you show the women you have used openers and routines on the proper respect, they will associate that respect back to the community.
Ultimately the moral of this whole article isn't about what you should want to do only for the community. It should come down to what you want to do for yourself. Don't try to be perceived as a better person so you can improve the image of PUAs the world over. Be perceived as a better person as a way to actually improve who YOU are. If you fall in to the manwhore gigolo habits, take a step back and look to see if this is why you got in to the community in the first place. If it is, then take a look at all that you have been taught by other members of the community. Most likely it's not. The Pick Up community revolves around everyone improving themselves and sharing their newfound value with others they meet. If you live your life as a PUA adding value to those around you, congratulations because you have already begun changing that perception for yourself and those around you.
Tags: PUA Pick Up Artist Seduction Venusian
