Ladies and Gentle Men....I......am deleteting my facebook account!!! (Not the account for my blog my other one)
There are soooo many reasons for why i am doing this, from a social stand point, from a personal development one, hell from a success stand point too. I really dont know where to begin, i have so much to say. Ok lets start from what initially gave me the idea; My best friend Oliver Hambling.
I spoke to him yesterday and he told me how he was deleting his facebook account, i was surprised....we are so much alike that i thought i would of come to this idea sooner. He said how facebook was distracting him way too much from fulfilling his career objectives. It was as if his hands would just fall to the keyboard and type f a c and so on. This can be true for so many of us. We become addicted to social networking websites. For so many reasons like looking at hot girls, keeping updated with what our friends are doing, looking at who's doing bad in their lives so that we can feel better about ourselves. As you will know from reading my post on how the world is changing the way we communicate, i am not a big fan of using facebook at all for communicating with people. Especially girls, i hate doing it now, it annoys me sooo much. Even though alot of my great sucesses have come from facebook, it still frustrated me using them. You write them a message, they take aaaages to reply, you think they have higher value because they have taken ages to reply. So you match the time they spend so they think you have higher value too, then you find out more about them and they find out more about you, you say something you would normally say in person and it would come of well usually...but this time it didnt. Why? BECAUSE YOU WERE ON THE INTERNET AND THE TONALITY DIDNT COME THROUGH HER EARS. Even the best phonetical typer in the world cant write tonality. Its not possible. Whats even worse for a PUA is that.....if you want to practise a routine, you may try it online and it works great. But when you use it out in the field, it didnt go so well, or you forgot some of it. Why? Because when you do things on the internet, you are not actually using your mind and body to create an experience. Its something that took me a good while to realise. You can be an internet whizz and get any girl you want on it, but out in the real world you will fail.....because you havent had a proper experience. Especially when studying and using communication skills. They are not meant for internet use, they are meant for real world people. Anyone reading this will agree that the difference in using a technique online and in person is gigantic.
Anyway.....as i started to listen to my friends idea more, i started to think so much about how wrong it is that we even use technology to communicate at all. Heres why......
The first big reason is that.....facebook and other internet sites can create a 1st impression of someone you have never met. Now how messed up is that!!!! You can have a first experience of someone you have not even seen yet. This is terrible because all we have to go by when talking to someone online is what they may have on their profile. But the profile is usually made when they first started the account, meaning that information is outdated, therefore meaning that how you are judging them is based on information that is not relevant now or even obsolete. This causes so many perceptual problems when 2 people meet online and then meet in person. It would be the same as asking someone you just met what they do for fun 2 years ago, as apposed to what they do NOW.
Now a reason how it effects interactions with women....Lets say you meet a girl, get her facebook name and add her....from that point on until she see's you she is communicating with you via a computer screen. Now genuine communication is a mixture of body, tonality and words, so the fact that you communicate just via words and little tonality is going to wreck her perception of you. As well....our brain stores memories of experiences we have had with any person we have met or communicated with. Basing on that assumption....someone can have experiences of you and have never of met you. 200 years ago that thought would of been laughed at, the thought of having knowledge of something we have never seen is madness. The original idea of internet and technology for person to person was to give them a tool they could use to CONTACT each other and NOT TO COMMUNICATE. Unfortunately what has evolved is us using these tools to communicate as appose to just contacting, which is what they were originally meant for. What has evolved is a shortcut to communication, but shortcuts are not always good, they are simply shorter and easier ways to do something, not necessarily better.
One thing just sprung to mind as well......does anyone miss the days where.....you would meet a person when you were out.....and the next time you would communicate with them would be when you would next see them in person. That to me is how it should be; clean and authentic communication. Simply because when you see this person, the last experience you have of each other is when you last saw each other. This is how it should be, the only experiences we should have of people are when we see them in the flesh, not through technology which strips away the essence of communication.
Another thing as well.....this doesnt apply to myself but i know applies to alot of other people that i know.....When you are part of social circle you sometimes may not do things because of what people may say. You are held back. Having social networking sites like Facebook reinforces and advertises a social group you may be in, so you would not do things you would normally do even more because pictures may go on facebook or people may talk about it. Facebook is used really to advertise peoples lives.
I remember when i was younger and it would be all the geeks who would talk to people online and on the internet, THAT USED TO BE THE GEEKY THING TO DO. But now look at us with our twitter's and blackberry phones and internet on our iphones. We have turned into a world people under using social skills because we are too lazy to move ourself. We adapt to any new shortcut because we want things easier. This is why technology has moved so much, its the need for us to have more simple ways of doing things. Its 2 steps back for human evolution.
We use all these social tools to sometimes bring new people into our lives, we seem to think that part of our lives are in the technological world. They are not. Life is out there in front of us. Its as if we have 3 lives; the one in our head, the one in front of our eyes and the one in the technological world. I tell you what guys, the only real life we have is what we can see and hold on to in front of us.
You may read this and think i'm being cynical of the progressions of technology, i am not. I am cynical and negative towards the use of them as shortcuts.
The Revolution is beginning, or the Devolution of the Evolution. Anyway....be a part of this with me. Delete your twitter and facebook accounts. Start communicating with people properly. NOW. THIS IS HOW YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE NOW!!!
Prepare....
Sam
www.howtochangelifenow.com
Tags: Communication Dating Pua Pua Theory Oliver Hambling
