here is a story about a spectacular attraction followed by the biggest clusterfuck any
PUA can have. I’ve been seeing a girl for 4 months. Without a play by play account, I’ll say that in 3 years of being in the
PUA community, she has had a peculiar effect on me that other girls haven’t. Mutual attraction was clear from the start. She’s a bright honours student (med) with strong Christian values (I’ve never dated a Christian girl before but she’s not religious, just extremely principled) – things have been progressing steadily.
2 weeks ago, she become distant. I realized it was something I said which she misinterpreted (details are not important at this stage). Suffice to say I said something unclear before I went on a 1 week trip and she misunderstood. (I'm not making excuses for her, but I realized I effed up the minute those words left my mouth)
We ended up having coffee. She said ‘let’s just be friends’ seemingly out of the blue. I turned into an
AFC and instead of leaving, continued to linger and talk. Finally, after much goading she admitted– ‘You send me mixed signals and you seem so busy sometimes, I don’t want to ruin our friendship.’ (I work 60+ hour weeks, sleep 4-5 hours a night as a med student/ full time journalist but I could tell that wasn’t the whole issue.)
I replied that it wasn’t the case. That I hadn’t met a girl like her in a long time and it was stupid she couldn’t see how much I ‘fucking liked her’. It was a state of the union address that actually made her smile. For about an hour, everything was fixed.
But I was caught up in the honesty of our moment. I stupidly blurt out that- ‘when we just met, I was in a relationship with another girl. But it was an open relationship and I was honest about it. I wanted to give you and I a chance, so I ended things with this girl.’
Her eyes widened. She stopped in the middle of the street and just said – ‘I’m going home right now. This won't work.’
I responded–‘I broke up with this girl because it would have been wrong otherwise. But I don’t want to lead girls on when I know it’s going nowhere. It had less to do with you. I make my own choices.’
She seemed unconvinced but we ended spending the rest of the night together. I walk her home, holding hands, talking and laughing. But my relationship senses tell me something is not quite right. I say to her- ‘It can’t be that simple. You can’t go from not wanting a relationship, to suddenly being ok within the span of 4 hours. What else is there?’
She replies – ‘you’re right’
So we sat down on the curb in the dark and I wait for her to tell me. I wait. I wait. She steeples her fingers against mine and nestles her face into me. We sit for 2 hours and she can’t tell me. I become frustrated. After much hesitation she says – ‘I just want to be friends. There’s an issue I can’t bring up or talk to you about. But it’s a big one and we should just stay friends.’
I become the
AFC again. Against all principles of
PUA, I start to rationalize with her. I tell her that she’s willing to throw everything away with me just because she’s too stubborn. I say being friends will not work unless she can tell me whats wrong. She either tells me now, or I walk away for good. It’s her choice.
She curls up in my lap. She buries her face in my shoulder, and clutches my arm really tight with both her hands. Her breath started to jag. (This girl isn’t the type to show emotion easily.)
‘Finally she says, I can’t.’
I’m calm but I can tell I’m losing my cool. I get up and leave. But my heart is not convinced. Stupidly, I end up turning around and saying – ‘well then at least say good bye to me.’
She refuses to. I say – ‘is this your choice then? Say good bye to me so I can leave and we can end it now.’
‘So you want me to tell you to leave?’
I replied, ‘only if you mean it.’
She stays quiet. We repeat this dialogue.
Finally she says very unconvincingly – ‘go. Get away from my house then. Go.’ I drove off after that.
This doesn’t seem like the average – ‘
LJBF because I have no attraction for you’ scenario. I’m not sure how to proceed and whether a freeze out would even be of help. I called up a f-buddy yesterday but wasn’t at all attracted to her and ended up wasting her time. I want to call Annie, but I know I can't. I've become a mess right now.
LJBF, but still attracted to me. Deluded or true?
